Elevate the Humanity

By Andy Manthei

This year CU Pride has taken on the theme of Elevate the Mosaic. I absolutely love this because the human experience is riddled with breaks and cuts and each of us is far from a perfectly shaped piece. But as we build community those broken pieces create something beautiful.
 
Today we see that a segment of the LGBTQ+ population is actively being thrown out and not added to the mosaic through attempts at erasure and discrimination.
 
I am talking about our transgender siblings, friends, family, that are actively being erased from our lives.
 
As I reflect, grieve and determine how I can show up as a white, straight, male, my appeal is to elevate our humanity.
 
I have been invited into sacred spaces to listen to, hug, support, and love transgender friends and family, and as I deepen my understanding of their humanity and authenticity, I have sought ways to stand up and speak out and shield those who are actively being targeted. Part of this is through social media posts, articles and blogs written with the help of CU Pride, and actively calling state and federal representatives.

Having been raised an evangelical, who for most of my adult life considered myself a conservative, I humbly say, everything I was taught, believed and thought, was wrong. I have been deeply and profoundly changed. And it started with a conversation. Being asked to listen, and engage with people I didn’t understand, set me on a course that challenged me.

From that, I saw the actual harm I had caused. I saw the pain that caused. I am reconciling that, but more importantly (and perhaps most importantly), I have pledged to fight for the people I care about and fight for their humanity. 5Calls (https://5calls.org/) is a great place to start to learn who your reps are and how to contact them sharing your concerns and expectations for them to stand up for their constituents. Keep your eyes open for protests, town halls, and other ways you can show your support. See if you have a local chapter of PFLAG (https://pflag.org/). In Michigan for example we have an organization named Stand with Trans that you can volunteer, donate, and support. (https://standwithtrans.org/)

It is important that we seek to understand. These are some questions that I’ve considered and have led to the greatest impact on my own understanding that I encourage allies to take time to reflect on for themselves:
 

1. Have I or anyone I have ever known been treated in a way that made me uncomfortable or truly unsafe?
   
2. Why do I question their authenticity? 
3. What is at the heart of my misunderstanding? Have I researched this deeply enough?
4. What is the harm I have caused by my words and actions? 
5. If I was often told that there was something morally wrong with me, how would I think about myself? 
6. How would I feel if I couldn’t share my true feelings or details about my life, or things I love, am interested in, or find fulfilling and give me joy, or at the very least had to hide from others who I am? 
7. How would I feel about myself when people tell me I am a danger to others and society? 
8. How would I envision my future if I lived in constant fear? Would I have hope or believe I could have that future?

As I engaged in these questions and actively listened to those I care about, their humanity rose to the top. No longer were they someone I didn’t understand because what I DID understand is the peace that comes from your thoughts, matching your actions, matching yourself.

When all of that aligns your innermost soul is at peace.

And yet people strive to take that away from others because they don’t understand. I often hear people say, “why is this shoved down our throats?” To which I respond, how is it shoving down your throat, people sharing something about themselves? When you meet people, do you talk about your partners and spouses? Your kids? The things that bring you joy? That is sharing your authentic self. So why would that be different for someone who identifies differently?

In conversations I have had with my transgender friends and family, there are 3 key areas under attack right now:
 

1. Medical Care 
2. Documents 
3. Bathroom Access

For the credit union community trying to figure out how you can best serve your trans employees and members, finding ways to address these areas is a great place to start.

For some credit unions, I know they have specific products that can help with gender affirming care for not just employees but members too. For those that don’t, advocate for policies that provide and enhance the care people need. Ensuring that insurance covers telehealth and support usage of HSA or FSA programs so trans employees have access to a wide variety of providers and types of care. Affirming and knowledgeable medical providers can be few and far between due to the political pressure put on providers of gender affirming care to stop (doctors, therapists, nurses, are just a few examples).

When it comes to documentation, it is important to allow self-determination whenever possible as more and more legal documentation limits identity based upon sex at birth. Allow employees to display their pronouns optionally and in as many systems as possible. Encourage your HR teams to be knowledgeable and prepared to support trans employees with navigating changes in health insurance or legal documentation so they have a safe place to go for questions.

When it comes to bathroom access, allow people the freedom to go to the bathroom without fear of confrontation or lack of safety. Having clear, safe bathroom policies is important for trans employees to feel empowered to do their job comfortably and safely and for trans members to feel comfortable existing in our branches and official buildings. If you have single stall bathrooms with gender specific signage, consider adopting gender neutral signs instead. At the very least, trust those in your organization to use the bathroom safely, upholding cultures that don’t question, point fingers or harass.

This doesn’t have to be as hard as some make it. If we don’t “other” someone, we can see they are a person, with hopes, dreams, pain, sadness, love, emotions, joy, fear, everything that makes us human. Let’s elevate their humanity and see them as the beautiful people they are. Let’s elevate their humanity by having an authentic conversation. And let’s elevate collective humanity by being someone safe. 

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Andy Manthei is currently a Business Development Specialist with GreenPath Financial Wellness. Andy has been in financial services for 17 years, first as a branch manager and loan officer for a financial institution before becoming a certified counselor at GreenPath and eventually moving into a role focused on bringing financial wellness to the masses through partnerships. Andy is trained in human centered design thinking, which has given him a rich canvas of experience in empathy, in understanding financial institution challenges as well as drawing on the insights from his heart to heart, one on one conversations with people all along the spectrum of financial health. He is particularly passionate about financial health for all in America. Connect with him on LinkedIn.​

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